it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sext me about skeletons
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