it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
should my penis look like a turkey
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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