I love black thongs
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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