Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
