More tranny stories later!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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