Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
