No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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