i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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