just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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