was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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