Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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