I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation