Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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