I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out