..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
do herpes really smell.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.