mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
