Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day

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  (225): finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day http://tfl.nu/v7qa
  Replies (39) Good night (5680) Bad night (778)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com

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  (203): I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com http://tfl.nu/9o3u
  Replies (10) Good night (3776) Bad night (984)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.

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  (843): He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat. http://tfl.nu/b45i
  Replies (29) Good night (5424) Bad night (973)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem

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  (443): So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem http://tfl.nu/7afw
  Replies (27) Good night (1478) Bad night (4279)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me

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  (321): i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me http://tfl.nu/5b8j
  Replies (10) Good night (3149) Bad night (1111)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  May it rest in peace.

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  (847): Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence. (708): May it rest in peace. http://tfl.nu/csj7
  Replies (17) Good night (4717) Bad night (1519)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex

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  (262): It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex http://tfl.nu/c8t5
  Replies (12) Good night (4642) Bad night (861)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Wow that was a lesbian tornado.

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  (201): Wow that was a lesbian tornado. http://tfl.nu/1am2
  Replies (14) Good night (3680) Bad night (1184)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside

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  (910): Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside http://tfl.nu/la7o
  Replies (21) Good night (3253) Bad night (1271)
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  (310): View more from California

  A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.

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  (310): A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf. http://tfl.nu/8l3i
  Replies (2) Good night (1450) Bad night (897)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.

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  (717): Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake. http://tfl.nu/07i4
  Replies (14) Good night (1803) Bad night (2690)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.

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  (865): She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/2xsu
  Replies (10) Good night (810) Bad night (1466)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Do you think county jail has a Groupon?

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  (254): Do you think county jail has a Groupon? http://tfl.nu/zc61
  Replies (17) Good night (1050) Bad night (670)
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  (408): View more from California

  do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??

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  (408): do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend?? http://tfl.nu/xsua
  Replies (6) Good night (920) Bad night (1092)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.

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  (702): Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well. http://tfl.nu/ln4y
  Replies (3) Good night (299) Bad night (695)

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