Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Found your dick twin last night
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?