i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I am one with the molecules
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you