JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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