I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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