there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There r osticjed everywhere
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
