ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
