I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
