I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize