corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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