whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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