Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
