her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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