Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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