I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
