At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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