I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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