What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
