there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
