I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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