Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
