If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
