I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
