And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
