I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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