if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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