I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize