We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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