guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
