summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
