break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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