i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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