Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Is it penis luge time yet?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
