You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
