I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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