conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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