Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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