I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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