I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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