nut hugger
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
