i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
