she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
