even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
