i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize