Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms