u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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