He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
