He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I would ride that face into the sunset
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