Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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